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Marriage can be beautiful when it is filled with true love and
communication is given importance. Married couples are said to be one flesh; no longer two but one. In God,
there's only Oneness. The bible speaks of unity throughout: one body, one Spirit, one Lord, one faith, one
baptism, one God and Father of all (Eph 4:4-6). There are deeper truths to marriage, spiritual truths.
(What Is Marriage?)
We have provided on this page different articles from Christian writers.
Marriage Isn't For Wimps
by Pam Frey
Let's just be honest. Being married isn't
always easy. It's certainly not for wimps. Almost everything about marriage calls for death to self. I believe that many
more Christian marriages could be saved if couples were more prepared. Many marry with totally wrong expectations
of marriage. Couples don't realize that marriage can be really hard work at times. It's not all fun and games. There's
responsibility and many times you will be called upon to lay down your own wants, crucify your flesh, and put your spouse
before yourself.
One of the mistakes I think people make when they get married is they marry with the expectation
that marriage is going to make them happy all the time. Certainly there are happy times in marriage, but to think that it
will always make you happy is an unrealistic expectation. There will be difficult times, times when your spouse may disappoint
you or even deeply wound you. There will be times when you must forgive and love unconditionally. There will be many times
marriage calls for self sacrifice. If you have unrealistic expectations of your spouse, these things can cause a huge problem
in your marriage and in your personal walk with the Lord. When unrealistic expectations are not met, if you are not careful,
bitterness and resentment can take root. This will not only cause much worse problems in your relationship with your spouse
but will also destroy your fellowship with the Lord. We cannot walk in unforgiveness and walk with God at the same time. (See
Matt. 6:12-15)
When we first get married we seem to only notice all of our spouses good qualities. Even
if we do see some things that may be a little annoying, we just seem to overlook them because we are so in love. We make the
mistake of thinking we can change those little, or maybe not so little, annoying things. One of the greatest lessons I've
learned over the last few years is that I cannot change my spouse. It's not my job. Certainly I can voice my concerns
and share my feelings. But, I've found that it is wisdom to go to the Lord first with my hurt feelings and concerns about
my husband. When I go to the Lord first, He will give me wisdom on how to share these things with my husband, as well as the
proper attitude. I can then go to him with a humble spirit and out of love instead of hurt or anger. When I go to my husband
with the proper attitude, it is much more likely that he will receive what I say with humility.
We must be
committed to make it through the good times and the bad. If we will have an attitude of serving the Lord by serving our spouse
and being the kind of husbands and wives that the Word of God lays out for us, so many marriages could be saved. There is
no room for selfishness and self-pity in marriage. It's not all about you. An attitude of how can I serve my spouse and
in doing so serve the Lord, would put a stop to many divorces. It's really all about Him.
God Bless.
I am a passionate lover of Jesus. My desire in writing is to share that passion with others in hopes that they too will
catch on FIRE.
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS |
Is Your Marriage on Shaky Grounds?
by Janice Ramkissoon 
"The
thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My [God's] purpose is to give life in all its fullness" (St.
John 10:10 NTL).
Is your marriage on shaky grounds? Do you feel like the only solution to your marital problem
is separation?
THE DECEPTION
The devil is a liar. He knows it and takes pride in the fact that he's
crowned the king of deception he'll have you believe your marriage is over. And that's his sole purpose on earth to
deceive. You cannot allow this deception to become your reality. The enemy didn't want you to get married in the first
place, so he will try everything possible to have your marriage dissolved. But be encouraged today: God promised you life,
not death. So do not believe the lies that the enemy brings to destroy your marriage. It's time to claim your marriage
back, in Jesus' name.
If you have been going through the motions, now is the time to start the process
of re-kindling the flames. Don't wait for your spouse to make the first move you are ONE and the end result will benefit
you both.
God promised you life in all its fullness. But the devil had you all confused you believe this
life is not for you, never was and never will be. So you settle for 'just getting by'; playing the survival game.
You embrace the struggle and refuse to let go. You're not happy, but for a peaceful life you keep quiet and continue with
the chores.
God promised you life in all its fullness (St. John 10:10) and His promise is true. What He says,
He'll do. Claim it in Jesus' name. Believe on His Word and it will come to pass. Being on shaky grounds, it will be
hard work trying to reclaim your marriage, but it can be done if you are doing it in His strength and not yours. So make up
your mind to put on the whole armour of God, according to Ephesians 6:10-18, and go claim what is rightfully yours.
THE REPAIRING
If your spouse is not walking in the light or the devil seems to have grabbed hold of your children,
you can claim back what is yours. You often hear: 'Take back what the devil has stolen from you.' Now it is time to
believe it and receive it. Claim your husband or wife back Get down on your knees and intercede on behalf of your spouse.
The devil is a liar and he is very convincing with it, so you can easily fall prey to his ways if you are not fully focused
on the ways of Christ.
Consult the Word of God for your daily guide. That will help you keep God centre of your
marriage and look to God for all the answers instead of running to man. Men will always let you down. "Devote yourselves
to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart" (Colossians 4:2).
Your weakness in Christ is the energy
source by which the enemy's power is charged. So it is vital that you put on the whole armour of God the entire outfit,
in order to defeat the enemy.
"What God joins together let no one put apart". Take your spouse
back.. Rediscover the emotions that first brought you together claim your love back! If your union have been blessed with
the gift of a child or children, things may not always run smooth at home but don't allow it to kill your marriage.
Your marriage needs to take priority, after God. This is the foundation that keeps your children grounded. A stable
marriage will produce more rounded and focused children; it is a fertilizer for their growth which produces confidence in
them. They learn from example and home is the number one training ground for their developing minds.
If your marriage
is unstable it is the children that suffers most, for when the parents aren't happy in their relationship they cannot
offer full parental care, and the children will get neglected in one or more areas of their lives. This neglect will follow
them into their adult years and history often repeats itself. If either parent were neglected as a child this is where the
'buck' should stop. Now that you are adults you know what scars you bear from your unstable home. It is time to deal
with it, release it and move on into a new future so that you can be the best parent to your children. They should not pay
for what your parents did to you. They are a blessing to you and they are entrusted in your care until they can care for themselves.
THE PARENTING
As a mother, I know that if the mother is not well, the entire family suffers and so
it is important that mother is taken care of. This is where the husband needs to set an example for his children, sons in
particular. The role of the husband is to lead in his home, caring for his wife and children, providing for them and protecting
them. This role involves showing respect for his wife and being sure to cater to her physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
In all this, being careful to represent Christ in his decisions and knowing that he will give an account to God for his action.
We are reminded of this in Colossians 3:19 "You husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly." To
neglect his duty in this area can find that there is a role reversal in the home which is a perfect recipe for placing a marriage
on shaky grounds.
The wife is then called to honour her husband and enrich his life. Again in Colossians 3:18
the wife is given an order: "You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord."
She should give her husband no reason to distrust her as Proverbs 31:10 highlights. It is her duty to help him all his life
and not hinder him in carrying out his role, in any way. "When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule
when she gives instructions." (Proverbs 31:26)
It is then a combined role, as parents, to cater for the children's
need in a similar manner.
When you train up your children according to God's instructions it becomes easy
for them to submit to the teachings of Colossians 3:20, which states: "You children must always obey your parents, for
this is what pleases the Lord."
It is important to dedicate the children to God and continually pray for them;
placing them under the protection of Jesus Christ. If they stray from the right path, claim them from the hands of the devil
and his angels (they won't wander too far, if you have done your part in training them up according to the instructions
in the bible). Children are gifts from God and should be treated as such. So care for them and train them up the way they
should grow, as we are reminded to do, in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 and again in Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21.
See
your children as blessings of your union the fruit of your love. And allow this knowledge to pull you closer together and
to God the one who presented you with the gift of a child or of children.
Give God thanks for the work He is doing
in your marriage and allow Him to complete the work in His timing. There are many lessons to learn on this journey and the
process cannot be rushed or the value in the lesson will be lost, and healing will be delayed. Soon you'll be making the
same mistakes again and paying similar consequences. When your marriage is back on track, keep praising God and He will continue
to pour out the blessings on you. It will then train you up for when the rough patches return and so with your grateful heart
springing constant praise, the struggles won't have an opportunity to develop or linger, should they return.
Men: Be happy with the wife of your youth she's a delicate flower.
Ladies: Respect the man God blessed you
with He is your leader.
To both of you I encourage you to continue to loving each other the way God intended and
do not fall prey to the tricks set to trap you. I pray God's blessings upon your marriage and may you have many happy
moments with each other.
2008 Janice S Ramkissoon
Janice, a freelance writer, lives
in the UK and enjoys spending time with her husband, Vince and their son, Javin. She uses her gift to encourage others towards
a deeper relationship with God, through her inspirational pieces while her travel articles provide general advice for the
holiday-maker.
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS
How To Have Happiness and Abundance in Marriage by Angie Lewis Many couples
don't realize how they are slowly pulling themselves away from each other mentally, emotionally, and physically because
of the separate lives they lead. The husband is doing his own thing, and not thinking about his wife's feelings, and the
wife is doing her own thing, not thinking about her husband's feelings. This kind of marriage has its priorities confused.
Priorities in many marriages are backwards. What should be priority number one is on the bottom of the list and
what's on the top of the list should be on the bottom. This is exactly why infidelities and other marriage issues happen.
Couples don't realize where they are taking their marriage when priorities are not aligned properly. In a typical marriage
husband puts himself above God. He doesn't mean to do this, but he does not have a firm grasp or understanding of how
to direct his marriage.
If a husband thinks he is at the top of the priority list then who is he accountable to?
Himself? Who is he responsible to? If a man lives his life as a "one man show", without responsibility to his wife,
family, or marriage, there will be problems! This man will never be fulfilled and happy in life because he has no purpose.
He does not understand the importance of marriage. He does not understand that he could be the king in his own home by making
his wife his queen.
The wife's priorities are backwards too. She is not putting God first in her life, and
therefore she lives her own life under her own understanding. Who is she accountable to? Who is she responsible to? If a wife
lives her life as a "one woman show", without responsibilities to husband, and family she will never be happy in
her relationships or fulfilled as a woman, no matter who she is married to.
How can I say these things with such
conviction? At one time in my life I did not put God first in my life and everything around me deteriorated. You see, God
has a plan for you. His plan is for you to succeed in everything that you do. Yes, in everything that you do! But there is
a stipulation you must put God first in your life then He will give you happiness and abundance.
The fact is God
created marriage to be a partnership between a man and a woman they are team players working together for the benefit of the
marriage and family. Is this how your marriage is? Who are you accountable to? Some couples don't think they are accountable
to anyone, not even their spouse. Is that why some spouses have affairs?
In the marriage that God designed, a
husband is to be accountable to God first and then to his wife. That means a husband has responsibilities to his wife to take
care of her, and to love her, even when he doesn't feel like it. This is the most important purpose you will ever have
in life. God wants you to take care of your responsibilities wisely, and then there will be blessings.
Wife, you
are accountable to God and to your husband also. You have a responsibility to support and to respect you husband. This is
what God created you for. God created the union of marriage to work best when both husband and wife KNOW what their duties
and responsibilities are to each other.
Marriage is not about going your separate ways like marriages do today.
Wife has her career and friends and husband has his career and friends. Wife has her endeavors that she embarks on and husband
has his. Is this a marriage of one flesh or is this two people living separate lives?
Marriage is about building
each other up in the Lord and creating abundance and happiness for yourselves and family. It is about happiness, love, and
abundance. Do you have that in your marriage? Why or why not? What can you do to bring abundance into your marriage?
Society has taken marriage and turned it upside down. The intention of "loving each other for life" is a nice
thought, but if couples aren't really committed to working together and helping each other be all that they can be, then
they are probably going to have an unhappy marriage. It's all about priorities, priorities, priorities. If a husband is
putting himself above his wife then that is being selfish. If a wife is putting herself above her husband then that is being
selfish.
What does all this mean? Well, next time you feel like doing something outside the bounds of your marriage,
as a separate individual from the marriage, remember you are married and have responsibilities in your marriage. Check your
priority list and see if your behavior is the proper thing to do. Will your actions be beneficial to the marriage or harmful
to the marriage? We should be accountable and responsible to God first and then to our marriage.
Angie Lewis is the author of five marriage books offering marriage tips and wisdom filled
answers tackling such issues as addiction, adultery, pornography, emotions, beliefs, forgiveness, communication and much,
more.
http://www.heavenministries.com
See Angie's Books:http://www.lulu.com/angielewis
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS Biblical Truth And Common Sense About Marriage
by Jim McIver
Few people who
say "I Do" really understand what marriage is all about. They have never spent time to research and understand what
marriage is, or what marriage requires. Most people don't understand where marriage originated. They don't know the
function of a marriage. They just get married. As a result the divorce rate is a staggering 50% amongst unbelievers as well
as amongst Christians. Before making the announcement and taking on the expense, people should ask themselves: why am I getting
married? If there are no Biblical ingredients involved in the reasons for getting married, it probably won't last any
way. It is better not to get married, than to get married for the wrong reasons and it ends in a divorce in six months.
Wrong reasons for getting married.
I want to make it legal. I like her body. He has a nice car. She has money.
I like his body. He's popular. He's handsome. She is a beautiful woman. I feel sorry for her. She reminds me of someone
I use to know. I want to get away from my parents. I'm tired of working. His family has money. Listed above are all wrong
reasons for getting married. It happens all of the time. There are many more wrong reasons why people get married.
Right reasons for getting married.
This person is a born again believer in Jesus Christ. This person is committed
to a local church and Pastor. This is the person that God has ordained to be my spouse. I want to live the rest of my life
with this person. This person has godly character. I have experienced a true love in my heart for this person. What I feel
for this person is in my heart and is not based on outward appearance. This person is goal oriented. The man will be able
to love the woman without reservations. The woman will be able to submit to the man without reservations. There are other
right reasons for marriage.
What a person believes about marriage is determined by whom influences their thinking.
When it comes to things concerning the Kingdom, we are either influenced by God or by diabolical human reasoning. There are
a lot of opinions about marriage, but the only opinion that matters is the opinion of the One whom created and instituted
it. All other opinions are bogus. These bogus opinions are no more than fruitless, perverted imaginations. They are only meant
to serve the purpose of the ones who conjured them up. No doubt about it, marriage was and is God's plan. (Genesis 2:20-25).
Marriage works when it is done God's way. Marriage is a union between a man and a woman (Genesis 1:27). The marriage relationship
is a revelation of the purpose of God in the earth. According to Biblical principals the only ones who qualify for marriage
are those who are born again believers in Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:30-32). Marriage is a sacred, covenant agreement. Marriage
was birthed from the heart of God (Genesis 2:22). Since marriage was God's ideal, He has the right to be glorified in
the marriage relationship.
There must be an understanding that the marriage relationship is to exemplify the relationship
between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:32). When two people marry they will either represent or misrepresent the relationship
between Christ and His Church. The husband is to loves the wife as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for it. The husband's
love for the wife is an example of the love that Christ has for His church. Christ does not mistreat the Church. He loves
the Church. If a husband mistreats his wife, he is mistreating himself and he is misrepresenting Christ (Ephesians 5:28,29).
Christ is patience with His church. The husband must exemplify that same patience. If the husband love his wife, he will not
abuse her or misuse her. He will not ignore her when she does not please him
With the heart of a servant, Dr. McIver is an exemplary Pastor & spiritual father. As an author, apostolic leader
and skillful minister of the word, for 36 years he has boldly proclaimed the Gospel truth, winning thousands to Christ.
Visit:
www.revivalfirespublications.com
www.myspace.com/drjim
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS
CHANGE IS LIVING by Janice Ramkissoon 8/14/2008 / MarriageChange is the only certainty in life, yet we still have individuals entering
relationships/ marriage, refusing to adapt to change.
ENTERING A RELATIONSHIP Expect Change:
My
work life is rooted in the travel industry so I have plenty of practice in expecting, acknowledging and accepting change in
this changing environment. Working in the transport, accommodation or attractions sector of the industry can provide some
form of stability and regularity.
However, the retail sector is on a daily alert for changes. This varies from
changes in the special offers, booking system, government policies and airline routing to name a few. A consultant or agent
only need to be away from the office for a few days and he/she has fallen behind with the most recent developments. Major
disasters, particularly financial ones, can occur if one gets back to work without a brief when one returns.
The
only regularity in retail travel is the start-time (unless you work on a shift pattern) and in few cases, the finishing time.
I would therefore advise employment seekers, not to enter a travel career, if you are looking for consistency and predictability.
I look at relationships, marriages in particular, in a similar manner:
Entering a relationship one has to expect,
acknowledge and accept changes. One has to be open to new ideas that may help one's relationship to grow. Failure to recognise
this as an integral part of relationship growth, is a recipe for relationship decay. Without growth, stagnation steps in (some
refers to this as boredom) and the end of many relationships often begins at this opening:
"We just grew apart."
Wrong! Chances are: someone in that party refused to accept the inevitable change.
Sometimes this is not obvious
in the early stages and can be brought on through life circumstances especially where couples lack support. One party believes
that what they are doing constitute the only way forward. They can't see a way out and so becomes trapped in that situation
and other problems develop from there. If you find yourself in this position: be prayerful, proactive and work together to
avoid this being a thorn in the relationship.
"That's how you married me. You knew the package you were
getting. Why you trying to change me?" Or "This is who I am. Don't expect me to change..." You were born
a babe, grew to be a child, a teenager then an adult. For each stage of your development, your mental status and physical
being required different input. Likewise your relationship started young and it too needs to grow from infancy to maturity.
Both have to put the effort in to make it work.
A ROUGH DIAMOND will change:
A relationship should
be viewed as a rough diamond. It takes hard labour for the rough diamond to sparkle and shine. So stick through it when the
rough days come because when you work through it together, in partnership, you'll both share in its beauty. You will cry
sometimes and your heart may take a while to mend but working through as a team, will tighten the bond between you and your
relationship will grow even stronger.
Overcoming one hurdle in your relationship contributes to growth. You have
grown to a higher level and are more equipped to deal with what may come next. When you repeat this process you get stronger
and stronger and your love for each other will soar.
As a couple waiting to be wed, there are certain flexibilities
you have as individuals that will be restricted once you become husband and wife. These are further restricted when you take
on the responsibilities of becoming a homeowner and sometimes temporarily put on lockdown when you start a family. Same couple
but with new and growing demands placed upon you.
The physical may not change (though anyone who has ever been
pregnant may beg to differ) but the mind has to develop in order to accept the different stages of the relationship. If this
process does not take place, one person will be forced to take on most of the responsibilities (that comes with the changes)
while the other remains naïve to what is actually taking place. Both believing that they are correct in their thinking;
one thinking all is well because 'This is who I am.' And the other starting to crumble under the excessive pressure
thinking 'It's the only way forward...' based on the other's belief. Soon, the relationship starts to die.
If you have not yet entered into a relationship prepare your mind in this fashion before you take on such responsibility.
A relationship needs to grow and growth equals change. What you started with is already in need of improvement.
Your relationship cannot survive on just physical giving of yourself to each other and gift tokens of your appreciation.
You need to take an active role in forward thinking and prepare your mind for future changes. This way you can plan towards
these changes that are positive; enhancing what you now have together and also plan against the ones that are negative and
will damage your relationship.
EMPOWERMENT IN ACCEPTING CHANGE:
Don't be afraid of change.
Accept that it will come, then embrace the positive and reject the negative ones when they do come along.
Change
is living. So don't allow the negatives to kill your relationship. Rebuke it. Allow God to find and remove the root of
the problem, through prayer (as the key) and faith in believing it is done. Rise above it and drench your relationship with
the juice of loving kindness. Show mercy and forgiveness. Let the fruit of the spirit come alive in you.
Allow
the grieving, of any form of hurt or pain that you may feel, to run its course. That way you can receive your healing and
be able to help others to grow. Your friends or relatives may one day be in a similar position and need your help but without
your healing you will not be able to offer that help. You'll most likely hinder the growth of their relationship. So cry
if you have to, write your thoughts down if you need to, sing out loud in praise to God release it all to Him and He will
restore the days, weeks, months or years that hurt has stolen. Then change will come once more as your spiritual growth becomes
evident and all bitterness and resentment disappears.
Now you can walk in the newness of life you have found --
the newness that allows love to cover all. Live through the changes for change is living.
-------------------------------------------------
Having read this article, I hope that you are encouraged to reach for higher heights in your relationships. Though
the article focuses on marital relationships, the points raised can be applied in all forms of relationship from the business
world to the local church. As long as it's a relationship, change is certain. So let us change our way of thinking and
be receptive to the idea of change.
2007 Janice S Ramkissoon
Janice, a freelance writer, lives in
the UK and enjoys spending time with her husband, Vince and their son, Javin. She uses her gift to encourage others towards
a deeper relationship with God, through her inspirational pieces while her travel articles provide general advice for the
holiday-maker.
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS
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